Monday, January 25, 2010

Reality Check

For those less-than-perfect moments.... ;)
So, lately it seems like I've been seeing a lot of Blogger World having their "true confessions" to let everyone know that they, just like all of us, are not perfect! I love knowing that the people who you think have a clean house ALL the time, never have ice-cream for breakfast (which I did just this morning!), must never have headaches with their perfect, unstained, smiley, hairsprayed kids, and the ones who don't ever have greasy-haired ponytail days--- they have their moments, too! And I want to apologize if I have been guilty of giving anyone the impression that we fall in that category, because it is so far from it!!

It makes me have a HUGE sigh of relief when I find out that I'm not the only one who sometimes stays in pj's right until Steve comes home from work, or that I HATE dishes with a passion, or that right now our toilet is growing something fuzzy on the inside (yeah, gotta do something about that...). Oh, and one of my worst housekeeping habits is that I hardly ever make the bed. And if I do, it's right before hubby gets home, and that's because I know he likes it made, but he doesn't get what he wants all the time ;)

And lets see... I hate flossing, and speaking of which, I haven't been to the dentist in like 3 years. Gross, I know. But I'm afraid to go because I have a receding gum line on a few of my teeth and the last time I went they dug RIGHT in there, and it still sends chills down my spine just thinking of having that done again. And lately I've been in a bad habit of not washing my face at night. I'm just too lazy by that time! I did hear from somewhere though, that if you leave your makeup on at night if will age your skin a lot faster...*scary*... so if I look like I'm 50 when I'm 30, you'll know why!!

Hmm, what else... I can't count how many projects I've started but still haven't finished. And today Jake was doing something that he wasn't supposed to (what else is new), and I went to pull him away and accidently smacked him in the head and knocked him over... oops! I definitely hurt his feelings on that one. And, sometimes we call Jake "Anger Management" because when he gets frustrated he clenches his fists and grunts and his face gets all red! Luckily he's starting to grow out of that one.... somewhat... And sometimes I get mad back :/ And at times I have been that mom in the store or at a restaurant-- the one whose kid is screaming and is getting "the look" from everyone around them.

Oh, and something I wish I liked because it would make my life a lot easier is COOKING. I'm really really trying to find some way to actually like to cook! It's such a chore to me. It's a pain to think of something to cook, first of all, and then drag everything out, make a mess, and then clean it up, and there's not even a guarantee that it will actually taste good!

Ok, and this is kind of a serious one, and I know some of you already know this, but this past year I've been dealing with bad post-partum depression, and if anyone else out there is struggling with it too, just know that you're NOT alone!! And it BLOWS!!! And get HELP, because it's out there, and it works, and it'll make things so much better. How do I know this? Because I was in denial about it for about 5 months after Jake was born. It finally took my mom telling me that I was not normal, and that I needed to get help, and that was my wake-up call. I got on medication and within 2 weeks I was feeling normal again. The only thing that I hated about it was that it made me gain weight like CRAZY. I was only on it for 5 months, and in that time I gained about 25 pounds. But there are lots of different meds out there that don't have that side effect. Anyways, yeah, there were times when I wished that I could just run away from everything, and that my life wasn't worth anything, and I was sure I was the worst mom in the world. I know now that thinking those things was so irrational, but at the time my brain didn't let me think anything differently.

Ok, so I didn't mean to get on a tangent with that, but all I'm saying from it is that everyone has things in their life that aren't perfect, or that they wish could be different! Thankfully, I'm pretty much back to normal... but what IS normal??! But on the days I feel something creeping up again, I realize that I'm probably just PMS-ing, haha! Poor Steve!!!

Anyways, I hope I didn't scare anyone off or send someone calling child-services, but just know that the Knowles family is definitely keepin it real! And for every smiling picture I put up of Jake, he was probably whining either 5 minutes before or after I took the picture, and I had probably just told him "no" for who knows what about 10 times in that 5 minutes. I love him, and he is for the most part a good kid, but he has his moments. And he makes me tired. :) But is there a mom out there that isn't tired??! Maybe I don't want to know.....

Bottom line is: Life is so good... but FAR from perfect!!!!

10 comments:

  1. So, I think I have a semi-receding gumline on some of my teeth and I hate HATE when the dentist digs in there!! It makes me not want to go myself... and it's been a couple years since I have been as well... sigh...

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  2. Jake gets that angry stance from Steven. I remember Steven clenching his fists and grunting with his face turning red... even as he got older. I think he's grown out of it by now though (right?!?) so there is always hope for Jake. :)
    I'll confess right now that, as I got ready to go shopping after FHE tonight, I realized I was still in my jammies. He he. But the kids and I all got our schoolwork done. Yay!

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  3. I LOVED THIS POST. There are currently dishes in my sink and my bed isn't made. And did I mention that I haven't vaccumed our floors once since we moved in to our new house at the beginning of December? Orange and brown shag carpets hide everything. The only reason I woke up before 9:30 is because I went shopping this morning and it's the fist time in like a week that I got out of the house. I appologized to Elliot last night when he got home because I hadn't showered yet. Oh, reality is hard sometimes isn't it? :) Thanks for the post. It made me feel better about myself.

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  4. Rachel!!! Thanks for visiting my blog! Let me just say that your honesty is refreshing and just having the attitude you have will get you a long way in life and you'll be able to cut out all the "fluff"! Miss you....can't wait to read more of your blog!

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  5. I just headed over from Pemberley Court. Half way through your post I was starting to think that I had multiple personalities and one of them wrote this post without me knowing!
    Great post on keeping it real!! And YES ALL moms are tired!! ;)

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  6. So true, just wait till you have a few more little ones running around. Let me tell you it only gets better but more complicated all at the same time. Your doing great, don't get hard on yourself, and for dinner go to recipezaar.com they rate most all their recipes so you never end up with a flop of a dinner.

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  7. Rach, I love your honesty! Thanks for sharing your "dirty" little secrets. They made me laugh because I feel the same way! Give me a call some time and we can catch up!!

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  8. Whew, Rachel! I know how you feel... I had moderately bad post-partum with both of my girls, but my older sister had it really really bad with all four of her kids. Her doctor put her on medication during her last two pregnancies in anticipation and it helped alot. I admire your courage and honesty... and I think your amazing! I miss you tons; when you are up in the valley again let me know so we can hang out!

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  9. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to write a post like this and chickened out at the last minute. Thank you for keeping it real. Just for the record, I can't remember the last time I showered - I know it was at least 6 days ago for church. Yuck! But that is my reality lately.

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  10. Rachel I love this post. You took every thought I have and feeling and put it in words...even down to the "all day pj's" and your hatred for dishes...dishes is why I hate cooking. Ugh. Glad you are feeling better. It's amazing how much better you feel when everything is in balance!

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